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Picture your hottest, toe-curling, clutch-the-sheets-because-it-feels- that -good sexual fantasy. Maybe it's a steamy secret you've kept under wraps, or maybe your partner knows exactly what you've been dreaming of. Whether you're a bit on the shy side or just haven't had the time, pretty much everyone has a sexual fantasy they'd love to make a romping reality.
Of course, spicing up your relationship or hookup! Living out a common sexual fantasy sounds like a ton of fun, but before you stock up your Amazon cart with whips and chains, make sure to have a conversation with your partner first. And, word to the wise, don't just lay it on them five minutes before a work meeting. Timing is everything, says Cadell: "The best time to talk to your partner about your fantasies is when you feel comfortable.
There's always next time, after all! Mary Jo Rapini, MEd, LPCa psychotherapist specializing in intimacy, sex and relationships, says the key is making sure your relationship is strong enough to handle a common sex fantasy and that it's something both you and your partner are into.
That's why Mary Jo recommends experimenting with a lower-stakes playful fantasy first think: dressing up before committing to something like a hot and heavy threesome. But honestly, it's totally up to you and your boo. Think you're ready to get frisky? Here are 30 sex fantasy ideas you can try or at least start planning tonight. For many of Cadell's clients, sometimes just talking about the fantasy is satisfying enough. These games give you a framework for doing just that.
Fantasy fun cards: Write down all your sexual fantasies on a stack of cards and get your lover to do the same. Then, each partner should sort all their cards into two separate piles: 1: Fantasies to turn into reality, such as having sex in a public place, or being a sex slave.
Bring in the paint: "Play a sexy version of the game Pictionary where you and your partner take turns drawing different fantasies," Cadell says. Each person will get five turns to try and guess what the other is drawing in under a minute. Try fantasy charades: "Play a game of fantasy charades where you get to act out your favorite fantasies without speaking," Cadell says.
Use them to help your partner guess your fantasy. For example, if you have a cop fantasy, get some handcuffs. Ask your partner to play fantasy fortune telling : "Try this verbal fantasy game to test both your creativity and imagination," Cadell says. Start off with a timer and give each person 20 seconds. Flip a coin and the winner will begin to describe a sex fantasy scenario like a threesome or anal fantasy.
After 20 seconds, switch and their partner will continue the fantasy for another 20 seconds. Act out a famous sex scene from a movie. Consider this the ultimate role play, whether you stick to the prepared script or improvise. Your call. Fantasy is all about escape. So take the opportunity to be someone else in the bedroom the next time you and your partner are feeling playful.
Boss and Employee: According to Your Tango56 percent of women and 61 percent of men have sexual fantasies having sex with co-workers in their office. Play out that fantasy out with your partner and keep your job! BTW: This works if your partner plays the nurse, too.
Police Officer : Using a pair of handcuffs for restraint could be exciting, followed by body search and punishment to fit the crime. Sports players: Is your boo a Pats fan? Grab a Tom Brady jersey for him and referee outfit for you or vice-versa. When you get home, get ready to call all the plays. Dominatrix: " 50 Shades of Grey gave women permission to live out their Dom and Sub fantasies," Cadell says. Personal trainer: Does working out turn you on? Bring that energy into the bedroom by grabbing your partner and demanding they give you 10 reps Professor and student: This role-play sitch also allows you to play with power dynamics, and there's no requirement that the teacher be in control.
You can even pretend one partner is a graduated student returning to their old school for a long-overdue romp What many of Rapini's couples say they crave in their fantasies is "deviant or on the fringe behavior. Have sex outside: " Take a walk on the wild side and role-play exhibitionism and public sex," Cadell says. the mile high club: A recent survey from Stratos Jet Charters polled 2, people and found that almost 17 percent have already done something sexual on a flight —and 52 percent had fantasized about it. So why not the club? Try it on a boat. If you're going to tackle land and air, why not try the sea, too?
There's something about that misty ocean air that really gets people hot and bothered. Plus, you know what they say about "the motion of the ocean. Have sex with a stranger: Well, kind of! Then it's all about the pursuit.
Maybe they drop a seduction line or send over a drink from the other side of the bar. Have a threesome: One in seven Americans have had a threesome, according to a study. What's more—one in five find them appealing. So if you've been thinking about bringing another person into the bedroom, you're not alone. Just be mindful of Rapini's earlier tips. And make sure it's something both you and your partner want to do.
Participate in group sex: Ditto, all of the above. Make sure you and your partner are on the sameand keep safety and consent in mind. If you want to do this somewhere where there may be other couples who share your interest in consensual non-monogamy, trying heading to a sex resort. Make a sex tape: Cadell gives this one two thumbs up. And then after, set up your tripod or connect your camera to the TV so you can watch your moves make sure the kids aren't around!
Just make sure to remain playful when doing something like this, Rapini says. Be voyeuristic: In a recent study from The Journal of Sex Research46 percent of the people surveyed were into watching people have sex. So if you're into this too, try going to a nude beach or a sex show with your partner.
Be an exhibitionist: Feeling really bold? Th e next time you're in the grocery store wearing your favorite skirt, lock eyes with your partner and slowly remove your underwear. Watch each other masturbate: Cadell recommends combining this fantasy with a sex tape. That way you're checking off two fantasy boxes.
Bring in the vibrators: Rapini recommends this one all the time. Your partner will get to know allll t he right places. Put on a strip tease: One by one, take off an article of clothing as your partner watches you from across them room Think: Blair Waldorf at Victrola in Gossip Girl. You know the scene! Go to the strip club: Here's a fun one, but it does depend on how secure you are in your relationship.
Do you get jealous when your partner looks at another woman?
Or will you use unleash your inner Ramona from Hustlers and get on the pole? Explore squirting: This might be easier said that done for some, but you may discover nothing is hotter than having your partner watching you in full glory. Ready to try it? Here's a how-to guide. Then give BDSM a try. Just make sure you've had an honest conversation with your partner about it first, making sure to discuss what it is, what you want, and how far you're willing to go.
Grab the whip: You don't need to go 50 Shades on your partner, but if both of you have been fantasizing about whipping or being whipped, there's nothing wrong with that. Use a blindfold: This is a common one for Rapini's clients, especially during oral sex.Sexual chat and fantasy
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How To Talk About Your Secret Sexual Fantasies With Your Partner